Violence?

"Is violence ever justified?" Asked my former teacher Ms G.*

"Sometimes," I replied positively. "If someone attacked you, and you needed to defend yourself, it would be okay."
"Really? Do you really think that?" Asked Ms G.
"Yeah!" Was my vehement response.
"I don't believe that violence is ever acceptable. If someone hurt me, I would allow them to."
"But why?"
"If someone attacks you, they can damage your body, perhaps your mind, but on the inside, you'll still be okay. If you hurt someone, it destroys your soul. If somebody hurt me, I think it would damage them more then me."
"Uh...I guess so..."
That was the end of all conversation on the topic. On the inside however, my mind continued to churn, mulling over the idea. Is violence ever justified? Is it ever okay to hurt someone? I had heard what Ms G. had to say, but I still didn't agree.

I won't lie: I'm selfish. I don't care about being pure or whole. I don't want to be good; I want to live, and if I have to use violence, I will do so.
Maybe Ms G. was right, but I'm not one to passively allow someone to hurt me. Perhaps it will hurt them more then me, but I don't have to courage to find out.
I hope that one day, I will be as strong and brave as my teacher, but I'm just a thirteen year old girl, struggling to survive; gasping for air like a fish out of water.
I hope one day, I learn to breath.

Until that day, selfish teenager signing out,
-Eva

*Yeah, it's nothing personal, but I don't use people's real names on my blog, and we-my class, all called her Ms G. anyway! :) Also, I'm not sure I succeeded in memorizing the conversation perfectly, but the rough idea can be found in this post.